Unacceptable, sudden, painful

It was supposed to be a joyful day for me us ytd, but I was totally not in the mood after I received the news at 4pm+.

I last seen him on Sat, when we were meeting at Taka to get yt's gift, and I remembered we were still laughing when he suddenly poked Pam to say 'Hi', the next thing I know, he's no longer with us. :(((

Sorry guys, that I did not tell you all the news earlier. It's heart-breaking, and difficult to say out.

 Dear was initially the only one who knew about this, was crying when I broke the news to him when I was still at sgh, where my mum jus finished her operation not long ago. I wanted to rush down immediately to be with her, but I know it wasn't a good time, and she still needs to help them to settle the stuffs,

I have to listen to her, I do understand her feelings as she does not want to spoil everyone's mood and atmosphere by not telling the others yet. Though dear was telling me to skip everything, I knew I can't leave them alone. So, the only way to prevent them from knowing that something serious had happened was to be like normal, while he promised he will drop down to accompany me.

For the whole night, physically I was laughing, but mentally I was not in the correct state as I kept thinking about her, how is she coping and how's everything. Till I receive her call, I broke down totally and the fact that I can't be there to accompany her at all.

Unable to hide in within me, I told the closest with me about it, and we decided to tell the rest tml morning instead.

Me, instead of staying for the chalet, I stayed awhile for the singing which dear came to join us, before I went back home becos I can't take it anymore.

Wasn't able to sleep, in the middle of the night, I received an sms that everyone knew about it. Sent them an sms to apologize for not telling them in advance, and everyone was worrying about her. :((((

Tried to take a short sleep but still wasn't able to slp before I decided to wake up early to prepare myself.

Called her at 830am, and she's already out with the family waiting to collect the body.

Everyone was emo when I reached the place and I din know what to say to them. Smsed her, and told the rest that I will call them again to tell them the meeting time and place, meanwhile, for them to try to get some rest at home.

Now, she's on her way back, and we are meeting soon to eat dinner and get some small snacks for her for a bite, since she din eat anything much these 2 days.

At least now I can finally see her, and help her with anything, but still can't stop worrying about her, even if she told me that she's ok. She's someone who will bottle up her feelings, just like me, but will try to talk to the closest with her to relieve herself.

I just hope I will be of help to her to help her through this. I promise, I will spend as much time with her as possible, to make sure that everything's ok.

Sweets, remember, I'm always here for you! You can call me in the middle of the night/morning or whenever you need someone to talk to. I will be there for you